Haunting
by FluffleNeCharka
Summary: [SashaLili] It was a dark, cold night when Lili found herself crushing on Sasha. Angst and strange fluff ensues as Lili thinks about Sasha. Oneshot drabbly romancy thing. Better than it sounds.


Title: Haunting

Pairing: Sasha Nein/Lili Zanotto

Warning(s): Lili is a minor and Sasha's clearly an adult. Nothing extreme happens; still, if you don't like the pairing, don't read or flame.

Categories: Romance, for obvious reasons, and angst, for pseudo-obvious reasons.

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It was late at night, after a long mission, when romance began to blossom.

Sasha was driving everyone home that night. Milla had fallen asleep in the front seat, as had Raz and Morry in the backseat. Raz was curled up against the door, using his backpack as a pillow. Morry was just out cold. Which left Lili squished between the two as she stared at Sasha. Though it was an uncomfortable position, it didn't bug her because sometimes being in the front seat could be scary, depending on who was driving.

It wasn't unusual for the five of them to go on missions together. Sometimes Morry didn't go, but still, it was common for all of them to pile into a jet, airplane, bus, or car whenever they got an assignment. So why, Lili wondered, did it feel different now? It was a moonless night, and it was pitch black outside because they were driving out towards Whispering Rock. There weren't any streetlights. It seemed to Lili as if the world simply ceased to exist. The world _was_ the inside of the car. The world was Raz, Milla, Sasha, and maybe even Oleander. But while she should have been enjoying the romantic-ness of the moment, she found her thoughts turning to Sasha. No matter how hard she tried to redirect her mind to something sane – like Raz, for instance – her mind focused on the dark haired German who sat two feet in front of her.

The windows were down because when you got five people in one car in the summer, it got very stuffy very fast. Even at night. By now, however, everything was icy cool inside the car. Wind brushed across Lili's face and she was glad that the Psychonauts uniform was long-sleeved. The moment struck her as odd. No light, no sound, no nothing… except for thoughts of Sasha. She glanced at him. His black hair was orderly as always, except for that one little strand he was forever brushing back. The spookiness of the night didn't seem to bother him in the least. Lili wished vaguely she could be so calm. Then again, Sasha himself was spooky in his own ultra-cool way, so he almost seemed to be a part of the night.

Her eyes moved to his sunglasses. How did he see with those things on at night? It was so weird; so totally Sasha. The longer she stared, the more and more she found that she was blushing. Lili scowled. She _never_ blushed before. What was with her tonight? It had to be the fatigue. The mission had been tough. Her ankle was mildly sprained, and she'd been hit on the head with a weak psi-blast. That had to be it. The strange way her stomach was churning as she watched his handsome face couldn't be anything else, could it?

Well, even if it was, she was with Raz. Raz was different from Sasha. Kinder, more down to earth, and definitely nicer. Raz was the sweet boyfriend all girls dreamed of. But still… Sasha was not without his own merits. He was calmer than Raz. He could always be counted on to find out valuable information – it was a gift caused mostly by his intellect. Lili blushed deeper. So, maybe she sort of liked Sasha a little. Big deal, right? After all, she HAD a boyfriend. She had a career. She could handle a crush.

Lili was aware somewhere in her mind it wasn't a crush. But she'd rather kill herself than cost Sasha his job by acting on what she wanted to believe was just a crush. The media would have a field day! His reputation would be ruined, and after all he'd done for her, too. Sasha had taught her lots of different things and powers over the years. He was a good teacher and a good friend. Sasha was there for her. He'd been like the father she'd never had – or more accurately, the father her dad didn't have time to be. She sighed. Fate was cruel sometimes. What was it Elton had said? 'The heart wants what it wants'. That translated into 'there's no way to avoid your feelings, so shut up and bear with them'. Lili gulped. The air in the car was truly frigid. Why didn't Sasha just roll up the windows, for goodness sake?

Finally, they entered the camp. Feeling weak in the knees, Lili helped rouse Raz and Morry. Oleander immeadiately started running to the main lodge, eager to report their success. Raz was led to the Kid's Cabins, still half asleep, by Milla. In an instant, Lili was suddenly alone with the man she loved.

In fairytales and romance novels, this would have been the moment where she declared her love or something like that. But Lili's breath was caught in her throat at the sheer beauty of Sasha under the white lights of the parking lot. Sasha removed his sunglasses for a moment, to wipe them clean. And Lili's heart sped up to a million miles per hour. His eyes were vampire-red. The stark contrast of the red against his black hair and green skin was mesmerizing. With a smile, he stole her heart. Lili was sure her admiration and affection were showing on her face, so she tried to keep her expression neutral. Because in her mind, she was still trying to figure out what she thought Sasha was. Amazing? Cold? Dreamy? Her mind refused to work under the soft look of those blood red eyes. He moved towards her, inquiring in his cool voice if she was alright. He placed an ungloved hand on her forehead and she felt her whole body freeze up. This could not be happening.

"I'm fine, really," she managed to gasp, pushing his hand away, "I think I just need to lie down. Bye, Sasha."

She was about to turn when Sasha suddenly sank to his knees and hugged her. Her mind shut down as a cross between fear and joy shot through her. Lili blushed visibly, but despite her resolve not to, she hugged him back. Lili could smell his cologne, soft and subtle, just like him. It was either foreign or else rare, because she'd never smelled anything remotely like it. Almost like some sort of flower. His warm arms took away the shocking cold of the car. Lili felt like she was being held captive and didn't want to be set free ever again.

His voice was almost husky in her ear, "Lillianna, please keep your thoughts a little quieter. We wouldn't want any trouble, now would we?"

His breath was hot on her ear. The statement was so totally Sasha, yet something else at the same time. It made her shudder a little. Before she could help herself or even think about what she was doing, she wrapped her arms tighter around him and kissed him on the neck, hard. It was something she'd always wanted to do with Raz, but couldn't because he wore clothes that had a high neckline. That, and on some level she really hadn't wanted to do that to Raz. It had always been something she had saved for someone special.

Her arms went limp at her side in absolute shock when her mind actually processed what had just been said. He'd heard her think of him and… Oh, God. Oh no. This couldn't be happening – yet it was, and in her own way Lili didn't mind a bit. But at the same time an alarm went off in her mind, that she shouldn't have left that little hickey on his neck. Logically she should have pulled away. She sighed regretfully as he gently ended their embrace, his hands trailing down her arms for a few seconds before he pushed his sunglasses back on and got into his car. The touch sent her arms tingling.

Lili's heart still hammered in her chest for a long time after he drove off. Her mind refused to process what had just happened. If she closed her eyes, however, she could feel his arms wrapped around her, and she could still feel the warmth of his breath on her ear. Without him, she was somehow colder inside. It was a long time before she was collected enough mentally to walk back to the kid's cabins. Even then, she had to take deep breaths to calm herself down from time to time.

Her heart splintered at the sight of Milla. Sasha and Milla had always had a dynamic, a thing that no one else had – and Milla had a crush on Sasha. Lili bit her lip. She was supposed to be Milla's friend, yet she'd just gone and… Oh, _why_ did she do that? Why had she kissed Sasha like that? Lili wasn't sure whether to dance for joy or cry in guilt. Slowly she walked towards the girls cabin. If Kitty or Franke said something, she didn't hear it. Lili's mind was elsewhere, still trying to pinpoint what Sasha was to her. As she lay awake, unable to get warm even under the multiple blankets, she suddenly knew. Like a flash of lightning, the word came to her. It summed up the days events nicely, Lili thought weakly, and it described all that Sasha was.

Haunting.

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End file.
